The beginning of this month
marked one year since the twins’ adoption.
This has caused me to reflect on what life was like last year and what
it is like today. A lot has changed in
my life in this past year but God has not.
Christmastime last year I was
walking through the valley of the shadow of death, a grief that was at times
unbearable. There was no end to my grief
in sight and I almost wanted it that way.
When you grieve you find yourself in an interesting place; a hard place that needs to end and must end at some point and yet a place where you want to stay because you know that the end means moving
on with life accepting that it is different than it was before. And yet I found that the relationships, the
people I have grieved, may leave my life but they don’t have to leave my
heart.
This song rang true with my
heart last December.
This year I have a different
tune. I am now able
to think of the twins and not be thrown into a heart wrenching grief. I can think of them with fondness, joy, and
prayer. I can be happy for them and
their new family and life. This does not
mean that I never have a hard moment or that my grief has come to a complete end. Those moments come but they are just that,
moments.
A year ago I thought I may
never come out of the valley and I felt like God had left me there alone. But I knew I couldn’t simply
rest on my feelings alone during that time.
I had to cling to the truth and walk forward.
And now, a year later I can
tell you with all my heart that God NEVER left me, He has brought me out and He is faithful! When we walk in grief it is critically essential to allow God to work His healing in our hearts and lives.
I got to see the twins
earlier this month for the first time since they were adopted. It was so wonderful. It was beautiful to see how well they have
adjusted. They are greatly loved by
their parents. I am truly grateful for
their parents and for what God has done and is doing in all of us! All the heartache and struggle has been well
worth it to be able to know you are in God’s will and to see His glory!
This is the song that has been my
new anthem this December!
For those of you struggling to
see the joy in your pain know this; God loves you and He is faithful! Your struggle is not the end! If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, don’t let satan take your hope in Jesus away from you. Cling to Him with
all you have left. He is faithful!
Let us remember what God has done as we walk into the new year!
- Kristin
